When I wrote my blog post earlier today about the abhorrent rudeness of Congressman Joe Wilson, I must admit to feeling quite despondent over the state of discourtesy rampant in our country. A few hours and a bit of Internet surfing later, however, and my faith in humanity has been restored--if not my faith in politicians.
Enter Carolyn Savage, my new hero. It seems that back in February, 40 year old Savage of Toledo, Ohio went to a fertility clinic, where she was erroneously implanted with another couple's embryo. Lo and behold, the pregnancy took hold. Lo and behold, it was discovered that the child growing in her womb was not her biological baby. The fetus was the biological offspring of Paul and Shannon Morrell of Detroit, Michigan.
So what did Savage do? More important, what did she not do? She did not throw a public hissy fit replete with media bleeps as Serena Williams exhibited this week; she did not scream "You lie!" to the Morrells, nor did she even consider terminating the pregnancy. Instead, she carried the baby boy to term, gave birth, and after a heart wrenching "hello and goodbye" moment, handed the child over to his biological parents.
Presumably, Savage was at the fertility clinic in the first place because she had problems conceiving. Imagine her anguish when she finally did so, only to be told that the baby was not hers.
Courtesy is defined as a "considerate act or expression". Yeah, I think this qualifies. Big time.
With people like Carolyn Savage around, the Joe Wilsons of this world don't stand a chance!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
No Common Courtesy in our Hallowed Halls
There's no polite way to say this; Congressman Joe Wilson personifies all that is lacking in manners in America.
How much rudeness are were going to tolerate (not to mention dish out) as a society? Black/White, Democrat/Republican - it doesn't matter. Joe Wilson was simply downright rude, and he choose to be so in full view of the American public.
Democrats and a smattering of Republicans officially reprimanded Joe Wilson last week. Maureen Dowd of the New York Times called the reprimand a "rare triumph of civility". Unfortunately, the triumph of good manners was paralleled by the brutish boneheads who have now gathered in support of Wilson. Dowd writes:
He was regarded as a hero at the anti-Obama rally in Washington last weekend that featured such classy placards as, with a picture of a lion, “The Zoo has an African and the White House has a Lyin' African;” “Bury Obamacare with Kennedy;” “We came unarmed (this time)” and “‘Cap’ Congress and ‘Trade’ Obama back to Kenya!”
A camera also caught Wilson in Washington signing for a fan a picture of himself confronting the president, and he has raised $2 million in the last week.
I think I can safely state that the erosion of common sense courtesy in this country is officially an epidemic. And it's a malady that festers quite quickly, morphing into dissension, hate, and violence. Why do people of civility tolerate this? I don't get it.
Our Constitution gives us the right to speak our mind, yet I wonder what our founding fathers would say if they witnessed how the concept of free speech has been bastardized by their 21st century successors. And how incongruous the consequences! Rather than being ostracized, Joe Wilson is being regarded "as a hero" by many of his constituents.
What is wrong with you people?
Goethe stated that "a man's manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait."
Congressman Wilson, be honest (and theoretically, given your "you lie!" outburst last week, this should be second nature for you). Just for a moment, when you are in absolute solitude, strip away the political game-playing, the bipartisanship, the false bravado and the affected posturing that you feel you must assume in order to keep your fragile ego intact. When you allow yourself, in that rare moment of true sincerity and vulnerability, to look at your reflection with utter candor at who you are, do you like what you see in your mirror?
How much rudeness are were going to tolerate (not to mention dish out) as a society? Black/White, Democrat/Republican - it doesn't matter. Joe Wilson was simply downright rude, and he choose to be so in full view of the American public.
Democrats and a smattering of Republicans officially reprimanded Joe Wilson last week. Maureen Dowd of the New York Times called the reprimand a "rare triumph of civility". Unfortunately, the triumph of good manners was paralleled by the brutish boneheads who have now gathered in support of Wilson. Dowd writes:
He was regarded as a hero at the anti-Obama rally in Washington last weekend that featured such classy placards as, with a picture of a lion, “The Zoo has an African and the White House has a Lyin' African;” “Bury Obamacare with Kennedy;” “We came unarmed (this time)” and “‘Cap’ Congress and ‘Trade’ Obama back to Kenya!”
A camera also caught Wilson in Washington signing for a fan a picture of himself confronting the president, and he has raised $2 million in the last week.
I think I can safely state that the erosion of common sense courtesy in this country is officially an epidemic. And it's a malady that festers quite quickly, morphing into dissension, hate, and violence. Why do people of civility tolerate this? I don't get it.
Our Constitution gives us the right to speak our mind, yet I wonder what our founding fathers would say if they witnessed how the concept of free speech has been bastardized by their 21st century successors. And how incongruous the consequences! Rather than being ostracized, Joe Wilson is being regarded "as a hero" by many of his constituents.
What is wrong with you people?
Goethe stated that "a man's manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait."
Congressman Wilson, be honest (and theoretically, given your "you lie!" outburst last week, this should be second nature for you). Just for a moment, when you are in absolute solitude, strip away the political game-playing, the bipartisanship, the false bravado and the affected posturing that you feel you must assume in order to keep your fragile ego intact. When you allow yourself, in that rare moment of true sincerity and vulnerability, to look at your reflection with utter candor at who you are, do you like what you see in your mirror?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
On Being a Good Customer
You've all heard it.
In my other life--when I am not traveling the world expounding on the paramountcy of the principles of Common Sense Courtesy, I am the owner of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants. Now, anyone in the wedding business who stays in it for long discovers that they must pay particular attention to delivering supreme customer service. After all, the wedding day generally ranks up there with the top five happiest days of a woman's life (along with the day her child is born, the day she actually weighs what her driver's license states she weighs, the first day her soon-to-be husband takes out the garbage without being nagged and the day this same hubby-to-be joins a religious cult that prohibits channel-surfing.)
However, at some point, there comes a time where even service providers with the highest standards of customer service must draw the line. Case in point (and I swear I'm not embellishing any of the details for the sake of a good tale):
A bride contacted us in October seeking our top of the line ceremony--the Premium Custom, priced at $619. She is planning a small, but high-end wedding at one of San Francisco's most prestigious hotels. We spend some time on the phone discussing her needs. A complimentary meeting is set up with one of our officiants. The hour-long meeting is held, the bride loves our officiant and is set to book, but there is a problem with the hotel. She might need to change the location. (We later found out that a contract had never been signed with the hotel). She asks us to contact her in several weeks.
Four weeks later, we make the call. Her phone number has been disconnected. We send an email, to which she responds a week later--sans apology for the inconvenience of having to track her down-- with her new phone number. She indicates that the date of her wedding has changed. Can we still accommodate her? Calendars are checked. Yes, we can help. We issued a contract.
Two days later, we hear from the bride. Oops, she forgot to tell us--she no longer needs our Premium ceremony; she now wants a romantic elopement just for the two of them. Our potential of booking of a $619 premium ceremony shrinks to a $199 elopement. We shrug and smile--that's how it goes and it is, after all, her day. It should be however she wants it. We reissue the contract. The elopement ceremony, however, is not supposed to include an in-person meeting with the officiant--which this gal has already had. Oh well, that's business. We eat the cost.
Several more weeks goes by. We don't see a signed copy of the contract returned to us. We email her a reminder to return the contract. She emails back. She has changed her location. Can we accommodate her? We sigh (out of earshot from the bride because, after all, we want to provide topnotch customer service and sighing and eye-rolling--even when warranted--do not fall under the category of Common Sense Courtesy) and reissue the contract for the new location.
More time passes. We get a call. Bride now wants to add guests to her intimate elopement. Can we do that? She is happy to pay for the additional guests. We upgrade her to an Elopement with Guests, invoice her again and (you guessed it) reissue the contract.
More time passes. She calls again. Some family members can't make it on the date established. She'd like to be wed the week before. Is this possible? "But of course," I smile graciously, wondering why I am cursed buy the gods. After screaming into a pillow for several minutes, I reissue the contract.
This week, she emailed us. She found out that her popular outdoor location requires a permit!!! The nerve! She is not paying to stand in a public park for 15 minutes and exchange vows. What can we offer her for free? I explain that while we can often suggest locations, that we are ceremony experts, not location experts. The sites of which I am aware that have a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, upon which she insists, will not accommodate 25 guests without a permit. California is broke, I gently explain--if they can charge money for something, they will.
I tell bride she needs to research locations on her own and that for every change she makes to her wedding day going forward, there will be a $25.00 administrative fee. I hate doing this; this is not how I do business, but so far, I estimate this wedding has cost us approximately $168.72 in administrative overhead and I haven't even paid my staff yet for performing the wedding.
There is no way around it, people--this woman is rude! She attempts to hide this rudeness behind a veneer of ignorance ("I didn't know I needed a permit..") outrage ("I can't believe that they actually charge for that!") and adolescent giddiness ("Oh, sorry...you must be getting so sick of my flightiness...tee-hee." Duh...ya think?). But the bottom line is that she is exhibiting neither common sense (doubtful if God endowed her with any) nor courtesy (which thankfully can be learned, and which is where I come in.)
So, some Common Sense Courtesy rules for being a welcome customer:
Business owners and service providers, feel free to add your own Rules for being a Good Customer in the comment section.
- Customer satisfaction is our #1 priority
- No one beats our Customer Service...NOBODY
- The customer is always right.
In my other life--when I am not traveling the world expounding on the paramountcy of the principles of Common Sense Courtesy, I am the owner of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants. Now, anyone in the wedding business who stays in it for long discovers that they must pay particular attention to delivering supreme customer service. After all, the wedding day generally ranks up there with the top five happiest days of a woman's life (along with the day her child is born, the day she actually weighs what her driver's license states she weighs, the first day her soon-to-be husband takes out the garbage without being nagged and the day this same hubby-to-be joins a religious cult that prohibits channel-surfing.)
However, at some point, there comes a time where even service providers with the highest standards of customer service must draw the line. Case in point (and I swear I'm not embellishing any of the details for the sake of a good tale):
A bride contacted us in October seeking our top of the line ceremony--the Premium Custom, priced at $619. She is planning a small, but high-end wedding at one of San Francisco's most prestigious hotels. We spend some time on the phone discussing her needs. A complimentary meeting is set up with one of our officiants. The hour-long meeting is held, the bride loves our officiant and is set to book, but there is a problem with the hotel. She might need to change the location. (We later found out that a contract had never been signed with the hotel). She asks us to contact her in several weeks.
Four weeks later, we make the call. Her phone number has been disconnected. We send an email, to which she responds a week later--sans apology for the inconvenience of having to track her down-- with her new phone number. She indicates that the date of her wedding has changed. Can we still accommodate her? Calendars are checked. Yes, we can help. We issued a contract.
Two days later, we hear from the bride. Oops, she forgot to tell us--she no longer needs our Premium ceremony; she now wants a romantic elopement just for the two of them. Our potential of booking of a $619 premium ceremony shrinks to a $199 elopement. We shrug and smile--that's how it goes and it is, after all, her day. It should be however she wants it. We reissue the contract. The elopement ceremony, however, is not supposed to include an in-person meeting with the officiant--which this gal has already had. Oh well, that's business. We eat the cost.
Several more weeks goes by. We don't see a signed copy of the contract returned to us. We email her a reminder to return the contract. She emails back. She has changed her location. Can we accommodate her? We sigh (out of earshot from the bride because, after all, we want to provide topnotch customer service and sighing and eye-rolling--even when warranted--do not fall under the category of Common Sense Courtesy) and reissue the contract for the new location.
More time passes. We get a call. Bride now wants to add guests to her intimate elopement. Can we do that? She is happy to pay for the additional guests. We upgrade her to an Elopement with Guests, invoice her again and (you guessed it) reissue the contract.
More time passes. She calls again. Some family members can't make it on the date established. She'd like to be wed the week before. Is this possible? "But of course," I smile graciously, wondering why I am cursed buy the gods. After screaming into a pillow for several minutes, I reissue the contract.
This week, she emailed us. She found out that her popular outdoor location requires a permit!!! The nerve! She is not paying to stand in a public park for 15 minutes and exchange vows. What can we offer her for free? I explain that while we can often suggest locations, that we are ceremony experts, not location experts. The sites of which I am aware that have a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, upon which she insists, will not accommodate 25 guests without a permit. California is broke, I gently explain--if they can charge money for something, they will.
I tell bride she needs to research locations on her own and that for every change she makes to her wedding day going forward, there will be a $25.00 administrative fee. I hate doing this; this is not how I do business, but so far, I estimate this wedding has cost us approximately $168.72 in administrative overhead and I haven't even paid my staff yet for performing the wedding.
There is no way around it, people--this woman is rude! She attempts to hide this rudeness behind a veneer of ignorance ("I didn't know I needed a permit..") outrage ("I can't believe that they actually charge for that!") and adolescent giddiness ("Oh, sorry...you must be getting so sick of my flightiness...tee-hee." Duh...ya think?). But the bottom line is that she is exhibiting neither common sense (doubtful if God endowed her with any) nor courtesy (which thankfully can be learned, and which is where I come in.)
So, some Common Sense Courtesy rules for being a welcome customer:
- Be aware of the role of the business person. They are working very hard to give you a good service at a fair price. Expect them to share their skills and knowledge with you, but do not expect that they can go outside of their realm of expertise to assist you. In other words, don't ask the man who comes to install your cable to unclog your toilet.
- Hold up your end of the bargain. If the business needs something from you, provide it in a timely manner. Your house painter can't start his job if you haven't told him the color of the paint you want.
- Respect the time of the business person. You are not their only client. If you are 20 minutes late for your hair stylist, don't be surprised if they have to rush through your haircut, or refuse to accept you at all. Being late isn't fair to the next customer or to the service provider.
- Pay your invoices when they are due. If you can't, then don't make the business chase you. Call and set up a payment plan.
- Don't play Let's Make a Deal. Trying to negotiate a lower price is fine for some services and you never know until you ask, but be reasonable. Do not approach a vendor who offers a service priced at $600 and insist that they offer it to you for $250. Better to ask, "Do you offer any discounts?" or "Is that your best price?" than insulting the business by offering a ridiculously low-ball offer.
- Always speak politely and respectfully. If you're not given satisfaction, ask to speak to someone in authority, but always politely and respectfully.
- If you must change your order, do not approach the business with a sense of entitlement. They will most likely work with you, but remember that changing an order requires time invested on their end. You may need to pay a token amount for this. In fact, it might be nice to offer this. Chances are, the vendor will appreciate your offer and go out of his or her way to accommodate you, even if they tell you the additional fee is not necessary.
- And speaking of appreciation, how about showing some? A simple "thank you" when the waiter fills your water glass, the cashier hands you your change with a smile, or the grocery bagger carefully places your eggs on top of the cart piled with bags is a basic common courtesy. And if you want to do even more, consider sending a thank you note for services rendered. When my staff receives written thank yous, emails of appreciation or positive online reviews of their services, they are ecstatic. Your words are appreciated more than you know. Even more so your financial gratuity, if that's appropriate.
Business owners and service providers, feel free to add your own Rules for being a Good Customer in the comment section.
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