Last night. Jeremy and I headed over to Cheesman Park to enjoy a free concert by the Colorado Symphony Orchestra. The night was warm and we found a spot in the shade of some trees. After positioning our chairs so we wouldn't block anyone else's view (common sense courtesy being our mantra, of course), we settled in to wait for the concert, chatting amiably with a couple seated on a blanket next to us.
As the time for the concert drew near, the park was really filling up and it was a festive atmosphere. People were chatting, meeting and greeting their neighbors, children ran all over the place--doing what children do when given the unfettered freedom to hoot, holler, jump and dance about. People brought picnic suppers and enjoyed them as the sun went behind the trees and the field was bathed in blissful coolness. I was enjoying the experience and was so glad we'd come. Until...
...the performance started. After the preliminary thank-yous and introductions were extended, the orchestra began to play the beautiful overture to Russian and Ludmilla. And the people in the audience, rather than being attentive and giving themselves the opportunity to be swept away by the music, simply kept talking. The wife from the congenial couple next to us began a running commentary about her latest trip to Nordstoms. The children continued to hoot and holler, and were given no admonishment by their parents to hush and be respectful. The adults continued their conversations while the orchestra played on.
I was appalled. I tried the dirty look, but that went unnoticed (odd, since I generally give a very effective dirty look; it still scares the bejesus out of my kids, and they are in their 20s!). In most situations, I would have no problem with politely asking the offending party to pipe down, but in this case, I'd have had to ask at least 50% of the attendees to mind their manners. In fact, when I glanced about, I saw that it was largely the audience members over 60 who were valiantly trying to absorb the music while looking askance at their blathering younger neighbors. I was embarrassed for my peers; is this what we've come to that only the elders among us show any respect?
Bear in mind that this was a free concert. The musicians were giving of their time willingly in order to advance the arts in our community and to present this opportunity for leisure and relaxation to city residents. Yet, how was it received? By rudeness and disrespect. The warm ovation given to them at the end did nothing to make up for the paltry manners exhibited during the performance.
Even I, who rarely gets confounded when I witness a lack of common sense courtesy, was stunned by the behavior of the audience. Some folks were even blabbing on their cell phones during the performance! What did they think made this acceptable? That it was a free concert? That it was held outdoors? That they are the center of the universe and no one else besides them matters? Ummmmm.....NOT!
Since there is but one Common Sense Courtesy Rule for performances of this nature, I'll phrase it in as many ways as possible so that all will comprehend. Shut your mouth, close your trap, zip your lips, button your pie hole, muzzle your mouth, dummy up, can the chat-chat, still your tongue, put a sock in it, keep still, hush up, be quiet, pipe down, stop talking. In short...SHADDUP!
I think you'll find that the things you will hear are amazingly beautiful!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Government Clerk Common Sense Courtesy (An Oxymoron?)
Yesterday, my husband and I had two very dissimilar experiences in dealing with, for lack of a better word, peon government clerks.
Having recently purchased a new car, I went off to the DMV to get it registered. Jeremy, for his part, went down to the Denver Parking Administration to see about getting a new on-street parking permit for our new car. Note: we found out that hard way that simply transferring the permit for our old car was not acceptable when our new car--complete with valid parking sticker (or so we thought) was ticketed. Apparently, one has to turn in the old sticker for a new sticker. And they wonder why we get so fed up with governmental red tape!
I'm delighted to say that my experience at the DMV was nearly pleasant--the only thing that marred it was the need to shell out $465 for the registration--but while that was expensive, I cannot say it was discourteous. Jeremy, however, did not fare so well, and was met by surly employees and a churlish supervisor in his simple quest to obtain a parking permit (to which we are entitled) in order to park on our street without getting ticketed.
Sigh....okay....I admit this might be a losing battle, for many bureaucratic clerks will simply never comprehend the necessity for Common Sense Courtesy. Plus, I don' think many of them know how to read anything save for their computer screens and the government forms that are mechanically placed before them hundreds of times per day. However, my experience at the DMV is proof positive that a dour countenance and irritable behavior are not necessarily the trademark of all government workers.
So, while in theory we can sympathize with the fact that these folks are little more than human robots, who are taught to follow the rules without question and have to ask their supervisor's permission to use the restroom when Mother Nature calls, in reality we'd rather not have the runoff from your lives of pathos and drudgery affect us.
Hence, Common Sense courtesy for government drones.
1. Please greet us with "Good Morning", "Good Afternoon" or "Hello" when we step up to your window. And no, bellowing "Next!!!" is not a greeting. It is a command.
2. Should you inadvertently forget Rule #1, then have the decency to respond to our "Hello" with more than a curt nod and an outstretched hand for our (and it better be completely filled out!) paperwork.
3. Bear in mind that the paperwork which you handle on a daily basis is unfamiliar to most of us. Registering cars, paying parking tickets, mailing packages, collecting unemployment benefits, seeking permits, getting a driver's license are usually not things we do routinely. Please refrain from sighing, eye-rolling and looking at us as though you can't believe what an idiot our mama gave birth to. A smile and a patient reply will undoubtedly get the point across clearly.
4. Try a little empathy. If someone is standing before your window, crouching to get their voice to project into the 3" hole in your bullet-proof Plexiglas, trying to tell you why their parking ticket might be in error, give them the courtesy of empathy even if you can't resolve their problem. If possible, kindly refer them to someone who can. Yes, we know there are a million sad stories in the big city and you have to sit through all of them, but that is your chosen profession. To these folks, their distress is real. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
5. As hard as it is for you to realize, these people before you are your customers. They pay your salary. Consider how you'd treat them if it was your own business at which you were working. I know that's a stretch for a cubicle-dwelling, 9-to-5:30-with-a 30-minute-lunch-break worker to comprehend, but give it a shot. How would you treat the person at your window if pissing them off would make them take their business (and your livelihood) elsewhere?
6. If you must abandon your work station while helping a customer, please let us know the reason. When you heft your considerable girth off your stool (understandable since you do work at a sedentary job and let's face it, a Little Debbie or two goes a long way in assuaging the stress after eight hours of working with the public) and amble off, we have no idea if you've gone to the printer, for a cigarette, or to seek assistance in helping us resolve our dilemma.
7. Answering the phone while you are waiting on someone at your window who was there first is rude--especially when said person at your window has more than likely waited a considerable amount of time clutching his or her number and anxiously watching as the ticker counts upward to his turn. All for the pleasure of talking to you!. If you are required to answer the phone, please politely tell the person on the other end that you are waiting on a customer in person and will place them on hold until that person's business is transacted. The, go back to your phone before calling the next person.
8. And as you greeted your customer pleasantly, so must you close your business with equal affability. A "good-bye" and a "have a nice day" (said without sarcasm, please) will make both you and them feel good.
And for your supervisors and managers, Common Sense Courtesy demands that you set the example by treating both customers and workers with dignity and respect. How about rewarding courtesy among your staff? Now, there's a concept!
Having recently purchased a new car, I went off to the DMV to get it registered. Jeremy, for his part, went down to the Denver Parking Administration to see about getting a new on-street parking permit for our new car. Note: we found out that hard way that simply transferring the permit for our old car was not acceptable when our new car--complete with valid parking sticker (or so we thought) was ticketed. Apparently, one has to turn in the old sticker for a new sticker. And they wonder why we get so fed up with governmental red tape!
I'm delighted to say that my experience at the DMV was nearly pleasant--the only thing that marred it was the need to shell out $465 for the registration--but while that was expensive, I cannot say it was discourteous. Jeremy, however, did not fare so well, and was met by surly employees and a churlish supervisor in his simple quest to obtain a parking permit (to which we are entitled) in order to park on our street without getting ticketed.
Sigh....okay....I admit this might be a losing battle, for many bureaucratic clerks will simply never comprehend the necessity for Common Sense Courtesy. Plus, I don' think many of them know how to read anything save for their computer screens and the government forms that are mechanically placed before them hundreds of times per day. However, my experience at the DMV is proof positive that a dour countenance and irritable behavior are not necessarily the trademark of all government workers.
So, while in theory we can sympathize with the fact that these folks are little more than human robots, who are taught to follow the rules without question and have to ask their supervisor's permission to use the restroom when Mother Nature calls, in reality we'd rather not have the runoff from your lives of pathos and drudgery affect us.
Hence, Common Sense courtesy for government drones.
1. Please greet us with "Good Morning", "Good Afternoon" or "Hello" when we step up to your window. And no, bellowing "Next!!!" is not a greeting. It is a command.
2. Should you inadvertently forget Rule #1, then have the decency to respond to our "Hello" with more than a curt nod and an outstretched hand for our (and it better be completely filled out!) paperwork.
3. Bear in mind that the paperwork which you handle on a daily basis is unfamiliar to most of us. Registering cars, paying parking tickets, mailing packages, collecting unemployment benefits, seeking permits, getting a driver's license are usually not things we do routinely. Please refrain from sighing, eye-rolling and looking at us as though you can't believe what an idiot our mama gave birth to. A smile and a patient reply will undoubtedly get the point across clearly.
4. Try a little empathy. If someone is standing before your window, crouching to get their voice to project into the 3" hole in your bullet-proof Plexiglas, trying to tell you why their parking ticket might be in error, give them the courtesy of empathy even if you can't resolve their problem. If possible, kindly refer them to someone who can. Yes, we know there are a million sad stories in the big city and you have to sit through all of them, but that is your chosen profession. To these folks, their distress is real. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
5. As hard as it is for you to realize, these people before you are your customers. They pay your salary. Consider how you'd treat them if it was your own business at which you were working. I know that's a stretch for a cubicle-dwelling, 9-to-5:30-with-a 30-minute-lunch-break worker to comprehend, but give it a shot. How would you treat the person at your window if pissing them off would make them take their business (and your livelihood) elsewhere?
6. If you must abandon your work station while helping a customer, please let us know the reason. When you heft your considerable girth off your stool (understandable since you do work at a sedentary job and let's face it, a Little Debbie or two goes a long way in assuaging the stress after eight hours of working with the public) and amble off, we have no idea if you've gone to the printer, for a cigarette, or to seek assistance in helping us resolve our dilemma.
7. Answering the phone while you are waiting on someone at your window who was there first is rude--especially when said person at your window has more than likely waited a considerable amount of time clutching his or her number and anxiously watching as the ticker counts upward to his turn. All for the pleasure of talking to you!. If you are required to answer the phone, please politely tell the person on the other end that you are waiting on a customer in person and will place them on hold until that person's business is transacted. The, go back to your phone before calling the next person.
8. And as you greeted your customer pleasantly, so must you close your business with equal affability. A "good-bye" and a "have a nice day" (said without sarcasm, please) will make both you and them feel good.
And for your supervisors and managers, Common Sense Courtesy demands that you set the example by treating both customers and workers with dignity and respect. How about rewarding courtesy among your staff? Now, there's a concept!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Am I Missing Something?
When took upon myself the mission to abolish nonsensical discourtesy from the face of the earth, I thought I fully understood that commons sense is indeed not so common. I expected that I would be calm and understanding when presented with various lacks of courtesy. I envisioned myself as a martyr for the cause, generating courtesy miracles as I went about my work. "Forgive them, for they know not what they do," I would murmur as I graciously proclaimed my wisdom to the masses.
But upon deeper reflection, I have to admit that I was foolishly expecting a minimal standard of common sense from the majority of my fellow human beings. This is folly. Rubbish. Poppycock. Let's face it--some people are just pigs. And while you may feel that last statement was somewhat discourteous indeed, I think you will change your tune when you hear my tale.
When I am out on my A.M. meditative perambulation, I encounter many like-minded souls who are enjoying the early morning air--walking their dogs, stretching their legs, jogging, bicycling, roller blading, etc. Whether or not we acknowledge each other's acquaintance, as we pass, I enjoy the camaraderie of like-minded individuals with whom I comingle on a daily basis.
Today, about 30 minutes into my pleasant summer morning walk, I encountered a bicyclist coming toward me. As he approached, he smiled broadly at me and I returned the favor by offering him a view of my own pearly whites. A millisecond later however, my favor turned to displeasure (well, it was more like a gross-out than mere displeasure) when my delicate ears were assailed by the sound of a deep rumbling in his throat, followed by a sharp intake of breath which indicated only one outcome. Sure enough, he hacked up a loogie of epic proportions and proceeded to expel it onto the sidewalk approximately 10 feet from where I stood, the smile quickly disappearing from my face.
The offensive bicyclist proceeded to pedal along his merry way, oblivious to the tumult he had just instilled in my stomach.
Now, one would think that it would not be necessary to educate people on the discourtesy of spitting in public, but apparently one would be grossly mistaken to embrace this point of view. My father, bless his soul, was one of the most fastidious people I ever met. A dapper dresser, tall and handsome even into his 70's, he prided himself on being courteous to others.
However, everyone has their foibles and my father was no exception. A devout Catholic, Dad never missed a Sunday mass. He had, however, one peculiar (and gross) habit. After parking the car, as he was walking toward the church stairs, he'd pause to blow his nose (ever mindful of being disruptive to the service with his honking). Then, after neatly folding his handkerchief, and oblivious to his fellow parishioners entering the church, he would snort and immediately spew a load of phlegm onto the curb. Then he'd piously climb the church steps with nary a thought to the sputum he'd left behind.
This behavior was so engrained in my mind, that as I child, I think I simply accepted it as part of his Sunday morning Catholic ritual. (Catholics being big on rules and ritual and all that.) You know, no eating three hours before communion, don't let the host touch your teeth, genuflect before taking your seat, hurl a loogie before entering the house of God and so on. Even if I had thought to question the appropriateness of this behavior, I wouldn't have had the courage to mention it anyway as Dad was also from the school of children should be seen and not heard. And heaven forbid if you were "heard" during church. The consequences were unthinkable.
So it seems that even among the most particular of people, lapses in common sense courtesy can occur.
And in one last ditch attempt on the part of the Universe to get me to elucidate on the perils of public spittage, as I headed home on my walk this morning, beginning to recover from my disgust at the errant bicyclist, I encountered a snuggling couple perched on a low wall abutting the sidewalk. As I walked toward them, they parted from their embrace, at which point the gal turned her head away from her beloved (how gracious!) and with a sharp intake of nasally, throaty breath that could be heard six blocks away, brought up an impressive mucus projectile that she expertly spat through her front teeth and onto the pavement below.
And her companion? As I once again fought valiantly to hang on to my breakfast, he looked at her with adoration and gleefully proclaimed with admiration, "Wow...that was NASTY!!! Good one!"
Did I miss a memo? Since when did public spitting become not only tolerated, but encouraged?
Thank goodness I am here to set the truth in stone. Clearly the world needs me more than I thought.
There is only one rule for spitting, so here it is. Do it in private or don't do it at all. And by "private" I mean not in a public place--even if there is no one else around.
And if my plea doesn’t sway the spitters out there, then consider the health hazards of public spitting. And if that doesn't sway you, then you might find it interesting to note that your city or town might very well have an ordinance against public expectoration. Consider the following....is this from your home town? Hmmmm....maybe you should assume it is!
1733.01 SPITTING IN PUBLIC PLACES PROHIBITED.
No person shall spit upon the sidewalk of any street, alley or other public place, or
upon the floor, walls or seats of any room, hall, office or other part of any tenement, hotel or
lodging place, which is used in common by the guests or inmates thereof, or upon the floor,
walls or other part of any store, theater or other building or room which is used in common by
the public.
(1969 Code Sec. 833.01)
1733.02 SPITTING IN PUBLIC CONVEYANCES PROHIBITED.
No person shall spit upon the floor, seats, walls or other part of any public
conveyance.
(1969 Code Sec. 833.02)
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