Government Clerk Common Sense Courtesy (An Oxymoron?)

Yesterday, my husband and I had two very dissimilar experiences in dealing with, for lack of a better word, peon government clerks.

Having recently purchased a new car, I went off to the DMV to get it registered. Jeremy, for his part, went down to the Denver Parking Administration to see about getting a new on-street parking permit for our new car. Note: we found out that hard way that simply transferring the permit for our old car was not acceptable when our new car--complete with valid parking sticker (or so we thought) was ticketed. Apparently, one has to turn in the old sticker for a new sticker. And they wonder why we get so fed up with governmental red tape!

I'm delighted to say that my experience at the DMV was nearly pleasant--the only thing that marred it was the need to shell out $465 for the registration--but while that was expensive, I cannot say it was discourteous. Jeremy, however, did not fare so well, and was met by surly employees and a churlish supervisor in his simple quest to obtain a parking permit (to which we are entitled) in order to park on our street without getting ticketed.

Sigh....okay....I admit this might be a losing battle, for many bureaucratic clerks will simply never comprehend the necessity for Common Sense Courtesy. Plus, I don' think many of them know how to read anything save for their computer screens and the government forms that are mechanically placed before them hundreds of times per day. However, my experience at the DMV is proof positive that a dour countenance and irritable behavior are not necessarily the trademark of all government workers.

So, while in theory we can sympathize with the fact that these folks are little more than human robots, who are taught to follow the rules without question and have to ask their supervisor's permission to use the restroom when Mother Nature calls, in reality we'd rather not have the runoff from your lives of pathos and drudgery affect us.

Hence, Common Sense courtesy for government drones.

1. Please greet us with "Good Morning", "Good Afternoon" or "Hello" when we step up to your window. And no, bellowing "Next!!!" is not a greeting. It is a command.

2. Should you inadvertently forget Rule #1, then have the decency to respond to our "Hello" with more than a curt nod and an outstretched hand for our (and it better be completely filled out!) paperwork.

3. Bear in mind that the paperwork which you handle on a daily basis is unfamiliar to most of us. Registering cars, paying parking tickets, mailing packages, collecting unemployment benefits, seeking permits, getting a driver's license are usually not things we do routinely. Please refrain from sighing, eye-rolling and looking at us as though you can't believe what an idiot our mama gave birth to. A smile and a patient reply will undoubtedly get the point across clearly.

4. Try a little empathy. If someone is standing before your window, crouching to get their voice to project into the 3" hole in your bullet-proof Plexiglas, trying to tell you why their parking ticket might be in error, give them the courtesy of empathy even if you can't resolve their problem. If possible, kindly refer them to someone who can. Yes, we know there are a million sad stories in the big city and you have to sit through all of them, but that is your chosen profession. To these folks, their distress is real. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

5. As hard as it is for you to realize, these people before you are your customers. They pay your salary. Consider how you'd treat them if it was your own business at which you were working. I know that's a stretch for a cubicle-dwelling, 9-to-5:30-with-a 30-minute-lunch-break worker to comprehend, but give it a shot. How would you treat the person at your window if pissing them off would make them take their business (and your livelihood) elsewhere?

6. If you must abandon your work station while helping a customer, please let us know the reason. When you heft your considerable girth off your stool (understandable since you do work at a sedentary job and let's face it, a Little Debbie or two goes a long way in assuaging the stress after eight hours of working with the public) and amble off, we have no idea if you've gone to the printer, for a cigarette, or to seek assistance in helping us resolve our dilemma.

7. Answering the phone while you are waiting on someone at your window who was there first is rude--especially when said person at your window has more than likely waited a considerable amount of time clutching his or her number and anxiously watching as the ticker counts upward to his turn. All for the pleasure of talking to you!. If you are required to answer the phone, please politely tell the person on the other end that you are waiting on a customer in person and will place them on hold until that person's business is transacted. The, go back to your phone before calling the next person.

8. And as you greeted your customer pleasantly, so must you close your business with equal affability. A "good-bye" and a "have a nice day" (said without sarcasm, please) will make both you and them feel good.

And for your supervisors and managers, Common Sense Courtesy demands that you set the example by treating both customers and workers with dignity and respect. How about rewarding courtesy among your staff? Now, there's a concept!