Have Common Sense Courtesies Gone to the Dogs?

I live in Colorado and people here love their dogs. I wouldn't go so far as to say they are obsessed with their canines, but on my daily walks, I see my share of dogs out walking their people, and believe you me, these are some pampered pooches! Off leash parks abound and many businesses bear signs proclaiming them as dog-friendly. I admit, I have some issue with the dog-friendly businesses--at least some of them. Let's face it, not all dogs are well-behaved enough to bring into a retail or restaurant establishment and oftentimes owners who love their dogs are immune to their shortcomings, often notably in the hygiene department. And I've made the mistake in staying at dog-friendly hotels, only to be "serenaded" all night by raucous barking every time a door banged, the elevator opened or someone breathed (translated: barking all night).

So I guess I'm fine with well-behaved pups accompanying their owners to pet shops, on public transportation (assuming they aren't prone to motion sickness) some types of retail establishments and recreational stores (A dog at REI just seems to belong there, don't you agree?). But I draw the line at sipping my chai tea while the border collie at the next table gobbles a biscotti.

Now before you go and accuse me of being a dog-hater, let me assure you that I am not. I wept with relief when Lassie pulled Timmy out of the well, laugh out loud to the antics of Eddie on Frasier and applaud programs such as Guide Dogs for the Blind and the Humane Society. I also like spaghetti and meatballs, a good novel, George Clooney and Mickey Mouse but that doesn't mean I want them to hump my leg when I least expect it (okay, I'd make an exception for George, as long as we weren't in public).

So, because some dog owners are over-the-top in love with their pets (so much so that they sometimes check both their common sense and their courtesy at the door), let us put forth some common sense courtesies for the pet owner.

1. I'm willing to bet that your city or town has a leash law. Honor it. I can't tell you how many times I've been out for my morning walk, enjoying the birds and flowers as I anticipate a new day only to be accosted by a large barking beast (or a small yapping one). The scenario goes something like this, I outwardly cringe, dodge or cower from the animal, whereby the owner saunters over and haughtily exclaims, "Oh, Killer won't hurt you; he just wants to play." At this point, I'm tempted to bellow, "Maybe so, but I have no way of knowing that as I'm confronting 90 pounds of teeth, drool and fur!" Besides, I'm out on my morning walking meditation; did it not occur to you that perhaps I don't want to "play" at this time?

And speaking of leash laws, the intent is that a human is tethered to the opposite end of the leash. A dog with a leash trailing while the owner hovers nearby "just in case" is equivalent to an unleashed dog.

2. Four words. Pick Up the Poop. Nuff said.

3. Regarding doggie courtesy in your home. When someone comes to your door and you graciously offer to let them in, Fido (does anyone actually name their dog Fido anymore?) needs to be restrained or removed if he's not 100% trained to accept newcomers equally as graciously. As polite as your guest is being on the surface, trust me--he or she does not enjoy being licked, pawed or being given the sniff of approval before being deemed an acceptable guest.

4. On being neighborly. If you leave your dog alone in the yard all day while you are at work, he will bark. And bark. And bark. Your dog is lonely and driving your neighbors nuts. Why do you have a dog if you are leaving him alone for hours on end? If you must be gone for hours, love your pooch enough to put him in Doggie daycare, or have someone come over a few times a day to play, walk, toss the ball, etc. Otherwise, you will be the main topic of the neighborhood association monthly meeting. Your neighbors will plot your demise. They will be justified.

5. If you do opt to bring your pooch into pet-friendly businesses, remember that pet-friendly does not equal pet-exclusive. Humans--who, after all, are the ones with the money to spend--must also share the space. Your dogs should be kept by your side unless invited for a pleasant pat by your fellow patrons.

6. People who don't love your dog as much as you do should not be ridiculed. This of course assumes that the people in question are observing their own Common Sense Courtesies rules in dealing with animals. (Translated: anyone who harms an animal should be given as good as they get.) However, if someone politely indicates that they'd rather enjoy Rover from a distance, you must respect their request if you are to remain a member in good standing of the Common Sense Courtesies Club.

7. Shell out a few bucks for obedience training. This will not be a blow to your dog's self-esteem. They are not your equal--you're supposed to be the one in charge--and life for everyone concerned (including the dog) will be easier if they are taught to obey simple commands.

8. Do not bring your dog to your workplace unless your coworkers are okay with it. And if you dog is a regular at your place of employment, then don't expect him to be eligible for paid sick leave, doggie health insurance or workmen's comp. That is plain presumptuous. (Drug-sniffing dogs excluded.)

9. If you want to use your beloved pup's picture as your screensaver, wallpaper or plaster photos of Lucky the boxer all over your cubicle, that is your business. However, do not spent hours regaling your coworkers of the dog's daily antics. This will get you appropriately labeled as a bore. And besides, get a life!

10. If you're the owner of a dog who attempts to hump everything in sight (the table leg, his leash, your grandmother) then do everyone a favor and get him fixed.

And here's a Common Sense Courtesies tip for those of you who might not be dog-lovers, but live or work among those who are. When the sad day comes and the dog passes away, or needs to be put down, please be empathetic--even if you simply don't understand the loss. For those who have lost their pets, the grief is real and deep. Be kind and offer your sympathy.